Post by The Ambassador on Aug 14, 2019 9:15:12 GMT
From:
Six Lessons Children Need to Learn
Part Five (of 6)
The Value of Adult Guidance
WHAT DOES ADULT GUIDANCE INVOLVE?
Children need adults in their life who can provide leadership and advice. As a parent, you are in the best position to fulfill that role; in fact, it is your duty. However, other adults can be mentors to your children as well.
WHY IS ADULT GUIDANCE IMPORTANT?
In many lands, young people have little interaction with adults. Consider this:
Children spend much of their day at school, where students outnumber teachers and other adults.
After school, some youths return to a home that is empty because both parents have to work.
One study found that in the United States, children between 8 and 12 years of age spend an average of about six hours on entertainment media each day. *
The book Hold On to Your Kids says: “Young people are turning for instruction, modeling, and guidance not to mothers, fathers, teachers, and other responsible adults but to . . . their own peers.”
HOW TO PROVIDE GUIDANCE
Spend time with your children.
BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Train a child in the way he should go; even when he grows old he will not depart from it.”—Proverbs 22:6, footnote.
Children naturally look to their parents for guidance. In fact, experts say that even as children enter the teen years, they tend to value the advice of their parents over that of their peers. “Parents remain the major influence on their child’s attitudes and behavior through adolescence and into young adulthood,” writes Dr. Laurence Steinberg in the book You and Your Adolescent. He adds: “Adolescents care what you think and listen to what you say, even if they don’t always admit it or agree with every point.”
Take advantage of your children’s natural inclination to look up to you. Spend time with your children and share your viewpoints, values, and experiences with them.
Provide a mentor.
BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “The one walking with the wise will become wise.”—Proverbs 13:20.
Can you think of an adult who might be a good role model for your adolescent? Why not arrange for that person to spend time with him or her? Of course, you should not abdicate your parental authority. But the encouragement from a trusted adult who you know will not harm your child can supplement the training you provide. In the Bible, Timothy—even as an adult—benefited greatly from the association he had with the apostle Paul, and Paul benefited from Timothy’s companionship.—Philippians 2:20, 22.
During the past century, many families have become somewhat fragmented, as grandparents, uncles, aunts, and other relatives may live in another part of the world. If that is true in your case, try to provide your teens with opportunities to learn from adults who have traits that you would like to see in your children.
A woman shows a girl her old photos
TRAIN NOW
A child who looks to adults for guidance is more likely to display wisdom and maturity later in life
Teach by Example
- Am I a good role model for my children?
- Do I show my children that I too look up to those with greater experience as mentors?
- Do I demonstrate that my children are important to me by spending time with them?
What We Did . . .
“Sometimes when I am in the middle of something, my daughter will say she wants to talk. I always make sure that she is a priority, even if I have to tell her to wait a few minutes so that she can have my undivided attention. My wife and I also strive to set a good example so she will see that we live by the same principles we are teaching her.”—David.
“When our daughter was born, my husband and I decided that I would not work but would stay home to help raise her. I do not regret that decision. It is very important to do as much as possible to be present in a child’s life so that he or she will have proper guidance and direction. More important, being there shows your child that you care.”—Lisa.
SPENDING TIME WITH ADULTS
“My children have grown up around a diverse group of adults, and this has helped them to see life through other people’s experiences. For example, they were amazed when my grandmother told them that when she was a little girl, her family was the first one to get an electric light. She told them that people from surrounding areas came to their house just to stand in the kitchen and watch the light being turned on and off. That story made my children see how different life used to be. Learning about their great-grandmother in this way also helped them to have respect for her and for other older ones. When children spend more time with adults—and less with their peers—they are able to see life from a different perspective.”—Maranda.
Next week: Part Six, The Need for Moral Values
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